Feel
by KeyboardGirl
Summary: an alternative 4.02


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just everything I would want to happend.

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alternative 4.02 episode

**Feel**

_Surgeons work sixteen hours a day, six days a week. and if you know your math, that leaves us with 80 hours a week without surgery.._

_80 holy hours when we can do whatever we want._

**Izzie and George are sitting in the livingroom, staring at each other. **

**"What is going to happend next?" Izzie asks.**

**"I have to tell her. I have to tell Callie and come clean."**

_some might call this a gift, this sparetime that we are given. but surgeons, at least_

_the surgeon I know, never really wants to leave the OR in the first place._

**Cristina is alone in her apartment, putting Burkes clothes in big boxes.**

_they don't want to leave this place where they feel so right, and most off all, _

_their afraid of what waits for them on the outside._

**Richard is picking up the phone and dialing a number.**

**"Adele, it's me. I know you're there, so pick up!"**

_In the OR, everything is clean and steril, and you have no feeling. Hunger and _

_exhaustion does not exist._

**Derek and Meredith are sitting in an uncall-room. **

**"So we're really broken up?" Derek asks.**

_Your ears only hears the beeping from the monitor and your eyes only see the work you are going to _

_perform. Thats not the way it is in real life.._

**Callie standing outside, looking in on George and Izzie talking.**

**"Good morning!" Meredith's voice is in a slightly higher pitch than it usually is. and she has a big smile on her face. **

**"What the hell are you so happy about?" Cristina looks at her. **

**"Derek and I are back together!" Meredith says.**

**"Dude, did you ever really split?" Alex tries to crab Cristinas energybar, but she grabbes his hand before he can reach it.**

**"Mine, Evil Spawn. But seriously, did you ever split?" Cristina throws the rest of the bar in the trash.**

**"Well, yeah, we split, then we had breakup sex and then we got back together." **

**"I couldn't aten that energybar. you didn't have to eat it all up, Yang!" Alex looks annoyed down at the trashcan.**

**"Whatever. We're talking about Meredith here, and you're worrying about an energybar? Well, Mer, how was it, I mean, the breakup sex?"**

**Cristina smiles.**

**"I guess it was good since we got back together." Meredith says and walks out of the lockeroom.**

**Izzie is standing at the nurses station, when Mark comes up to her.**

**"Want to have a drink with me tonight? I'll let you stand close to me." He says with a smile.**

**Izzie gives him an awkward look and says;**

**"I'm not having a drink with you.."**

**"Why not?" Mark gives her the McSteamy face.**

**"First of all, you're Mark. And second of all, I'm sort of with somebody right now." Izzie says.**

**"With somebody? Who?" Mark says. Izzie opens her mouth, but then she sees Callie, who is headed in their direction. So she leaves.**

**"That was odd.." Mark says as Callie comes up to him and takes his chart.**

**"My patient, my chart. What's odd?" Callie says.**

**"Stevens in seeing somebody, and the whole hospital doesn't know yet. So it's probably a secret or something. And when she saw you,**

**she just ran of." Mark looks at Izzie as she runs down the hall.**

**Callie takes the chart and leaves.**

**Meredith is standing with her interns in a patientroom.**

**"Caroline Yorke. Came in last night after collapsing in the shower. She hit her head, and seems to have a concussion." One of her interns**

**says.**

**"I'm fine. I just have a little headache. Can I go home now? I really need to go, because I'm getting a call to day. an important call. from a**

**model school. and I need to know if I got in or not." Caroline looks at her mother and then at Meredith.**

**"Well get you out of here as fast as we can. but first we have to get the results from the CT first."**

**Derek enters the room.**

**"Dr. Grey, may I talk to you for a moment?" He says. Meredith follows him out in the hallway.**

**"What?" Meredith looks slightly irretated, because she thinks he is going to talk to her about their relationship and she's working.**

**"Ms. Yorke here," Derek says. "We still don't know what caused her to collaps in the shower." Derek looks towards the room where Caroline**

**and the interns are.**

**"Didn't the CT show you that? Wait, why couldn't you say that in there?" Meredith asks.**

**"Because I talked to her friend, Maya. She found Caroline in the shower.." **

**"And?" Meredith starts to get annoyed.**

**"Maya says that Caroline hasn't been eating for the last couple of days." Derek eyes finally looks at Meredith again.**

**"She as an eatingdisorder?" Meredith didn't know why Derek was so determent on keeping this a secret.**

**"No.. Maya told me that her mother didn't let her eat.."**

**Callie walks up to Bailey, who is seaching up something for a surgery.**

**"I need to talk to you.. Well, actually, I don't need to talk to you, I need to talk to Addison, but she's not here. And I donnow what to do, and there**

**is no one here to talk to. So I'm talking to you, okay?" Callie rambles.**

**"Whatever you say, boss." Bailey looks slightly annoyed, but doesn't say anything when Callie sits down.**

**"Okay. Here it goes. I followed George this morning.." Callie says.**

**"Oh, it's one of those talks.. non surgical? I'm not your woman, boss." Bailey says and gets up.**

**"Miranda, please. I have no friends in this hospital. No friends!" Callie looks like she's gonna cry.**

**"okay, okay." Bailey sits back down.**

**"I followed my husband this morning. I actually stalked my own husband, and he said he was going to the hospital a little early today, but he **

**wasn't. He went to see Izzie Stevens. And I saw them. He lied to me, there's something going on. and when I picked up a chart this morning, I**

**overheard Izzie telling Mark that she was with somebody. And he comfirmed it. What do I do?" Callie takes a deep breath and looks at Bailey.**

**Bailey looks shocked.**

**"First of all, you're not gonna belive anything that asshole Mark Sloan tells you. Second of all, you should talk to your husband about this, not me."**

**Bailey gets up and leaves.**

**Meredith returns to the patients room.**

**"Could I have a moment alone with my patient?" Meredith gives her interns a look, and they flee like she has a gun to their heads.**

**"w-why?" Mrs. Yorke looks at Meredith, then Caroline, then Derek.**

**"It's just a couple of things we'd like to talk to Caroline about, Mrs. Yorke. nothing to worry about." Derek says.**

**Mrs. Yorke leaves and Meredith turns to Caroline.**

**"What do you want to talk to me about? Is it bad, am I going to die or something?" Caroline says and she sounds nervous.**

**"I have to ask you this, because you're friend Maya told us, and we need you to comfirm it. Is your mother, by any chance starving**

**you? not letting you eat?" Meredith says.**

**Carolines eyes start filling up with tears, and Meredith takes her hand.**

**"She just wants me to get into this modeling school so bad.." she says.**

**"It's not the way it's sepose to be, honey. You're sepose to do things like modeling because you think it's fun. Because you feel like**

**it. not because your mother wants you to."**

**The interns are having lunch in "really old guys" room. **

**"I have a patient who's mother starved her.." Meredith says.**

**"Dude, that gotta suck.." Alex tries to take one of Cristina's sandwiches.**

**"ALEX! why do try to steal food all the time? buy your own!" Cristina yells, and then hits him in the head with the magazine she's **

**reading.**

**"I can't.. I'm broke." Alex suddenly looks extremly intrested in his feet.**

**"what? how can you be broke?" George arrives with Izzie.**

**"Well, I kinda spend like all my money traveling." Alex still stares at his hands.**

**"Oh! you mean, when you went to see Ava." Izzie says,**

**"Her name is not Ava, it's Rebecca, and I just traveled in that direction.. But yeah, I spent all my money there.." Alex finally looks up.**

**"God, you're stupit." George says with a saticfied look on his face.**

**"why are you so happy, Bambi?" Cristina says.**

**"Because Alex is the stupitest one of us, and still I have to repeat my internyear." George says with his mouth full of food.**

**"And that's funny how?"**

**"Cause I like beeing the king-intern. I rock!" George turns to Izzie who is sitting awfully close.**

**"You can have my sandwich.." Cristina says and gets up. "I have to go anyway. I've got a tumor that has to dissapear."**

**Callie is sitting in an uncallroom, as George enters.**

**"Hi." George lays down on the bed.**

**"Hi.." Callie avoids looking at him.**

**"We have to talk." George says.**

**"Yeah, I know." Callie answers.**

**"This really isn't working out." there's a long pause, and then George continues;**

**"Callie. Talk to me, or at least look at me!"**

**"Okay! George, I'm looking at you and talking to you. So please, if theres is anything you want to say, say it!"**

**"Alex. Hey, Alex!" Cristina runs up to Alex who on his way to the lockerrom to end his shift.**

**"What now Yang?" Alex says.**

**"You're broke, right?" Cristina follows him into the lockerroom.**

**"Yeah, thanks for rubbing that in my face.." Alex starts pulling of his scrubs and changing to another sweater.**

**"No, it's not that Evil Spawn. its just that, I've got clothes, you know, Burke's clothes.. And I donnow what to do about them. And you**

**are broke, so you need clothes, I guess. And I can't ask George cause he's to small, but.." Cristina says.**

**"Are you asking me if I would want Burke's clothes?" Alex looks at Cristina with a wierd look on his face.**

**"Well, yeah, but you don't have to weak them.. Sell them on Ebay or something. But you have to take them, I dont care what you do with**

**them. As long as I don't have to sell them. I couldn't do it." Cristina looks sad.**

**"yeah, of course. I'll come over tonight and get them if it's okay." Alex says heads towards the door.**

**"Sure." Cristina says as Alex leaves the lockerroom.**

**Derek is standing in the uncallroom, when Meredith arrives. Her eyes are red and swollen,**

**"What's wrong?" Derek asks, and slowly embraises her.**

**"I just got a phonecall, from my father." Meredith says tearfully. "Lexie got hit by a car on her way to work today. She's dead. He said that**

**I'm the reason why everyone in his family dies!"**

**Derek doesn't say anything, He just holds her as she cries, comforting her and kissing her forhead softly.**

**"do you want a beer?" Cristina asks as she opens the fridge.**

**"sure." Alex says. He is standing in a pile of clothes in the middle of the livingroomfloor. Everything from shirts to socks is spread around**

**on the floor. Cristina comes up to him and hands him a beer.**

**"I think I'm gonna sell this stuff. No offence, but I don't think I would want to wear this stuff." Alex says.**

**"Sure, I get that. I would do that to, if is wasn't because of the fact that everything smells like him," Cristina says and drinks her beer.**

**"Yeah.." Alex feels like he should say something, and continues; "I actually did go to see Av.. Um, Rebecca."**

**"Really?" Cristina starts putting clothes into a box.**

**"Yeah. She told me it was to late, that I missed my train or whatever. She couldn't leave her husband now, you know. That wasn't a **

**possibility anymore." Alex looks sad.**

**"Sorry. You know, if I where Meredith or Izzie I would tell you that you would find someone. But I'm not, so I wont." Cristina says.**

**"yeah, and if I where George I would tell you that there are plenty of men out there that are five times as good as Burke, but I'm not, so I wont."**

**Alex said.**

_In the OR, we don't feel. We just think. About our patient, and what how we are going to perform surgery on this patient. We don't feel. So when _

_surgeons come out to real world again, they get blown away by the rush of emotion that suddenly plays a big part._

**Meredith is lying on the bed, crying and Derek is holding her tightly.**

_The fact is, surgeons would rather just stay in the or. To stop feeling, because it hurts._

**Callie and George are sitting in the uncallroom.**

**"Our marriage is over." George says, but Callie interupts him.**

**"I have to tell you something.. I'm pregnant."**

_Surgeons don't know what their feelings mean, and they can't react to them. So whats the point in having feeling at all?_

**Mark is sitting in the bar and spots Bailey at chair next to him.**

**"Can I buy you a drink?" He says.**

**"You are way to lonely, you nasty.." She says and leaves.**

_Because once in a while, in some very spesial moments, we get good feeling. And then everything else is worth it._

**Cristina and Alex is sitting in the middle of the livingroom floor, surrounded by clothes, kissing.**


End file.
